we all know it. its time to say goodbye

i wanna cry
but i cant. i have to be strong for all those ard me.
i have to be vry very strong.
i cant cry. i must stay strong. i know i can do it.
like that. just standing there. giving everyone hugs.
to tell them that everything id going to be okay.
but you know.. i feel like im lying to them.
we all know that nth is going to be okay.
jiujiu's condition is getting from bad to worse and theres really nth much we can do.
we can only pray.
pray. for a miracle to happen.

we're all holding on to the 1% of faith.
da yi ma even flew back fron taiwan to see jiujiu
i know how serious this is alr.
but i dunwan to face this fact.
no one wants to face this fact.
but we all have to. its the true colours of this cruel world.
and i hate this world.
it always takes away things which we hold dear to us.
or is it just fate that is playing a prank.
i dunno
and i dunno how to find out.
i wouldnt want to anw. but im really scared.
we're all scared. scared to go home. scared to not see him for the last time..
so scared of the unforseen..

i am strong to support those whom i love.
but who is there to support me? im collapsing soon too..
i wish you were here with me.
i know in your arms i can feel safe.
i know no matter wad happens you will be there to hold me..

jiujiu loved me dearly.
he doted on me alot since i was borned.
i know and it really heartached me to see him like that.
jiumu and mummy.
i wonder what can i do to bring jiujiu back his health.
im sure everyone would be willing to do so tgt with me..
BUT WHAT CAN WE DO?
we can only sit there and wait... and wait.....

quoted from kj's blog.
i wish i could go to a corner and paint myself black.
but i cant..

~~i'll be strong to hold all of you.
fall on me. i can and i WILL make it.

pray. nights.