confession

i thought for a very very long time before i decided to post this post

i've never felt this way

but you made me realise that i cannot be having everything in my way

sometimes things are just to hard to be in my control

i never thought walking away and giving up something could be and would be this hard.

they always say giving up is the easy way out. but why doesnt this feel easy.

it feels like the hardest thing to do.

maybe you've gone on, i dont know. but whatever it is you seem happier now.

i thought i was better now,

but all it takes is a word from you and im knocked down right back to where i started.

i havent changed, contrary to what you said. my life is still the same.

i dont know about yours. i hardly know anything. im not pointing fingers here.

maybe its just me, as it always is. i dont know.

but then again, i never know.

i dont even know why the im getting so affected by a harmless conversation, but thats how you always get me isnt it.

you affect me.

the things you do, or dont.

i hope this is the only time i let myself show through.

facades are good sometimes, it tricks you into self denial.

sometimes.

but somedays, and sometimes, it just comes crashing down and you cant do anything about it.

but for now, i shall be honest.