he is gone. for good. bye.rest in peace.

ay. as you've seen on the title. yeah. so theres absolutely no need for me to elaborate anymore.

"I’m seriously sick of this. I’ve never met such a hard to handle person in my life before. Im tired of this. I think I should just give up and not bother about this anymore. I miss the PAE days when I didnt really have these kind of problems with people. Sigh. I just want to find people to enjoy my life with, is it really that hard to do. Maybe in NY, yes."

~~a tear rolled down.
bye peeps.

we all know it. its time to say goodbye

i wanna cry
but i cant. i have to be strong for all those ard me.
i have to be vry very strong.
i cant cry. i must stay strong. i know i can do it.
like that. just standing there. giving everyone hugs.
to tell them that everything id going to be okay.
but you know.. i feel like im lying to them.
we all know that nth is going to be okay.
jiujiu's condition is getting from bad to worse and theres really nth much we can do.
we can only pray.
pray. for a miracle to happen.

we're all holding on to the 1% of faith.
da yi ma even flew back fron taiwan to see jiujiu
i know how serious this is alr.
but i dunwan to face this fact.
no one wants to face this fact.
but we all have to. its the true colours of this cruel world.
and i hate this world.
it always takes away things which we hold dear to us.
or is it just fate that is playing a prank.
i dunno
and i dunno how to find out.
i wouldnt want to anw. but im really scared.
we're all scared. scared to go home. scared to not see him for the last time..
so scared of the unforseen..

i am strong to support those whom i love.
but who is there to support me? im collapsing soon too..
i wish you were here with me.
i know in your arms i can feel safe.
i know no matter wad happens you will be there to hold me..

jiujiu loved me dearly.
he doted on me alot since i was borned.
i know and it really heartached me to see him like that.
jiumu and mummy.
i wonder what can i do to bring jiujiu back his health.
im sure everyone would be willing to do so tgt with me..
BUT WHAT CAN WE DO?
we can only sit there and wait... and wait.....

quoted from kj's blog.
i wish i could go to a corner and paint myself black.
but i cant..

~~i'll be strong to hold all of you.
fall on me. i can and i WILL make it.

pray. nights.

0836. my love for you will never die

in the photo: jasmine, deanna, ryna. missing:clarissa
my legs look really long in this photo!
i love my girls!



what a beautiful scenery at punggol park! lol

i love the effects of jasmine's camera. or its just because of the lighting. YAY!

onc again. i look retarded.

i love jasmine! we are strong girls! we will make it thru! love you babe!

just compare me and ryna and jas. im like so black la. BLACKY! but still. love you girls loads!

i love 0836 !

it has been quite some time 0836 really did sth tgt.

we should seriously bond more often xD

although in some point in time.. there might be quarrels.. but that is the way. to put aside the differences and give in to one another. its not that i cant quarrel you know.. sometimes its better to lose out somehow after looking at the bigger picture.

0836. jiayou.

~~~ today. im happy.becos everything went right for me.

nights.

these are tears my dear not water. TEARS

My heart frowns
My heart sways
My heart cries
My heart plummets down, down.
My heart doesn't know the meaning of happiness.
My heart only knows the meaning of pure misery.
You may wonder what ails my heart
The only answer to that can never be reveled.
If anyone knew the pain that surrounds my heart
That person may just want to cry, for they would know that the pain is one that can never be healed.
The pain is so beyond comprehension
The pain is so strong that it will never yield.
My heart has become like a plane that has lost all of it's engines
The only fate for it to undergo, is to plummet and end in a huge crash
Everyone on the flight screams for fear, but their destiny is one that will just end in explosion, no matter the panic they put up.
Just like that flight, that's how my heart feels.
It screams to be saved, but no savior will save it.
Its only destiny is to crash and burn.

I am depressed for no reason at all
I am depressed for everything in the world
Everything and nothing but not something
Everything in my life conflicts with one another
Everything is in complete chaos
My mind spins in every which direction with no where to go at all
Nothing is wrong
Nothing is bothering me
There is no cause for the chaos
Everything is complete chaos, and yet nothing is the cause
My life is twisted like a pretzel
It is twisted into huge knots never to be untied
Everything is tangled and nothing twisted it
It consists of everything and nothing, but not something

are we all borned to be fools? to be tricked and played abt by life again and again?
".........oh fool! i shall go mad......"
the almighty. faling into a bottomless pit. to weep in sorrow and despair.

~~falls apart.

i wonder if you saw me crying...

went gym today.
"PAHH WHO DO I THINK I AM.."
yes. who do you think you are.

waited and waited for someone whom never knew i was waiting..
got nth out of it..
you are a person who do not keep your promise.
you broke the only promise i wanted from you.. you BROKE it all.
i guess this is the end.

"i shall love myself more and more.
i shall live my life for myself.
i shall never fall into this pit again.
i shall forget that love was sth that existed.
i shall not rmb what has happened between us.
you shall be who you are while i be me."

i will never think of you again. even if i do. i will never ever let you know. cos by letting you know. im letting you hurt me more.
you unintentional hurt killed me..
as well as the love i used to believe in..

"which make me think man a worm.."

okayy. im just ranting bout that bloody scar that you created inside me..
now for the truth..
although we're going to fine and all. i know deep inside me.. there is a scar that no amt of love can cure..
you've hurt me and im not recovering anytime soon..

you still owe me your promise. and you know it well. it means alot to me.

~~let it all die down..
only den we can have out life back..